People CAN change...

 You always hear the expression, "people dont change"....well, I disagree. Given the right circumstances, a person can change, depending on the person. A good person can go bad and a bad person can become good.

Take me for example; I was a serial cheater. I would be faithful for a while but regardless of how the person treated me, I always had one foot outside the door. I was like that in my last relationship, thought I was gonna be ok but this young lady, I fell in love with. Not just her but her family as well, sigh. Well, when she left, it wasnt like the rest. I didnt have that "see you later" mentality' This time it hurt, I hurt...I had fallen in love with her. I wanted and needed her in my life, I opened up more of myself to her than I ever have with anyone else.

 Now, we are no longer together and realize WHY I never fell IN LOVE before, this shit hurts. But I have changed, I want love, I wanna be loved. I want to be open and honest about all I do. But I came to the LIGHT too late. Had I know my selfish actions would have had this outcome, abd be filled with so much pain, I wouldn't been THAT person. Love isnt suppose to hurt like this.

Damn.

Sometimes....

Sometimes,

I want to feel loved and wanted

Thats all

sleep needed

Its 1:00am and im wide awake. Havent been able to sleep since this Friday, there is too much too much commotion in my head and heart. As soon as one dies down, the other starts. Better yet, when they work in unison to keep me awake....uuugh. I know the pain will pass, eventually, but right now it hurts like hell. There will never be another in my like that, and everything will lead to comparisons, of which they will fall short. It will be tough going from EVERYTHING clicking, to somethings clicking. Not sure when this will pass but I need it to hurry and run its course. It needs to go so I can sleep peacefully again. I want to close my eyes without being bombarded by the images or the yearning.

Honestly, I just want to find some peace.